


the way the world ends

by wearealltalesintheend



Series: Tumblr Prompts [18]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence - Thor (2011), Gen, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, he's just confused, i guess?, loki is dropping a lot on him okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearealltalesintheend/pseuds/wearealltalesintheend
Summary: not with a bang but a whimper*“Loki?!”Thor sounds glad to see him, relieved, and Loki hates him for it, too. He’s still human, still vulnerable, and Loki did this. Accidentally, but he did. He wonders if his brother– ifThor–would still be glad to see him if he knew this, if he knew–“What are you doing here?”“I had to see you,” he says because it’s true, because he’s a pathetic little thing who has a storm in his chest that has been brewing for centuries now and had to know if his– if Thor, too, had been in on the joke. Did he ever had a chance to stand with his so-called brother or was he doomed here from the start, too?Did everyone watch and laugh as the little Jotun runt ran around asking for scraps?“What happened? Did we go to war with Jotunheim– let me explain to Father–”"Father is asleep."*Or, the God of Lies tells the truth.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: Tumblr Prompts [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1296797
Comments: 15
Kudos: 228





	the way the world ends

Midgard has a distinct feel, a lack of buzzing in the air that comes with lingering magic, skies too blue and grass too coarse, landscapes too imperfect down to the details. It’s impossible not to know where you are once you’ve been there once before, even if it were centuries ago, even if it has predictably changed irrevocably since then. 

Loki doesn’t care enough about the realm to bring himself to hate it, not in normal circumstances, and today, not a normal circumstance, he doubts there would be anything he would not hate fiercely.

The sand, the foreign stars littering the dark skies, the painfully ordinary air infecting his lungs– Loki hates it with a practiced sort of familiarity. He goes through the motions of changing his clothes into something the humans would not find odd even though he’s hiding himself from their sights, he walks among them with disinterest and imagines what it would feel like to set the whole building on fire.

Like much of anything these days, it doesn’t bring him any satisfaction, only leaves him vaguely nauseated, whispering words around his mind–  _ hateful, savage little Jotun. _

“Loki?!”

Thor sounds glad to see him, relieved, and Loki hates him for it, too. He’s still human, still vulnerable, and Loki did this. Accidentally, but he did. He wonders if his brother– if  _ Thor–  _ would still be glad to see him if he knew this, if he knew– 

“What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you,” he says because it’s true, because he’s a pathetic little thing who has a storm in his chest that has been brewing for centuries now and had to know if his– if Thor, too, had been in on the joke. Did he ever had a chance to stand with his so-called brother or was he doomed here from the start, too? 

Did everyone watch and laugh as the little Jotun runt ran around asking for scraps?

“What happened? Did we go to war with Jotunheim– let me explain to Father–”

He doesn’t flinch at that, keeps his expression blank and smooth, bitterly comforted by how utterly inept at deception Thor is. In all their childhood, listening to the tales of Jotun savages feasting on Aesir flesh, on all the times they played pretend at slaughtering the Frost Giants, Thor– reckless Thor, impulsive Thor, hotheaded Thor– would not have been able to contain himself had he known the shadow following him around had been one of the monsters, would not have been able to call him brother and ever mean it.

“Father is,”  _ dead,  _ he had planned to say. There is the beginning of a plan in his mind, something to show them,  _ show them all,  _ he is more than the blue underneath his pale skin, that he is not like them, he will not be like them, that  _ he is Loki of Asgard,  _ despite everything.

Maybe they were right to distrust a Jotun, maybe he had been unknowingly playing on his nature, but he can rise above this, he can be better than this, he can–

But Thor looks at him, earnestly open, and Loki knows then that it will not change anything. 

He could end all of Jotunheim and Loki of Asgard will still be the second prince, the shadow shrinking under Thor’s light, distrusted for his gifts, set apart from the others for his disposition if not his skin. All this time, Thor and the others had been under the impression nothing was amiss.

If getting past this would mean going back to that normal, then what would be the point?

Too much has happened, things have gone way past the point of no return now. There’s no going back, not for him, not after this. He’ll kill himself before he goes back.

So, he tells Thor instead, “asleep. The Odinsleep has taken him,” and it’s the truth, but there are so much more truths to say and speaking it out loud makes it real, so Loki is choking on them, drowning on them, and a small part of him, the one that still clings to this notion of family even through the shambles left of it, that asked his moth–  _ asked Frigga–  _ looking for reassurance and wanted to sink in the pretty lies, it wants to look at Thor and see his older brother, wants to think  _ it’ll be okay, Thor will take care of it, he can stop now, he can close his eyes just for a while, just for a little rest.  _

Thor goes wide-eyed and anyone could see the regret in his eyes, the way his shoulders hunch in clear fear of being the cause of the Allfather’s breaking point. “What? But when? Mother–”

“Is at his bedside, standing vigil,” he shakes his head, shaking hands hidden on the pockets of the damned Midgardian suit, scarf snaking around his neck like a noose, “but that’s not all.”

“Are  _ you  _ alright, brother?” Thor asks and Loki almost doesn’t tell him. His broth– Thor is an oaf but despite his flaws, he still holds affection for him. He’s the last one to look at Loki without contempt, to see him as something more than a monster, and Loki almost doesn’t tell him.

Somehow, it’s also Thor’s genuine concern that hooks the truth out of him.  _ “I’m not your brother,” _ Loki says and it comes out half-snarl, and it stops Thor short like he’s almost considering someone else is wearing Loki’s face. He’s not that far from the truth, actually.

So instead of speaking, instead of using his supposed silver tongue, instead of allowing space to be called once again a liar, Loki  _ shows  _ him.

He strikes out a hand, slams it against Thor’s forehead, and shows him everything, from his naive, petty plot to disrupt the coronation all the way to his conversation with Frigga.

Thor comes out the other side shaking. “I don’t– Loki, what is the meaning–  _ oh, brother.” _

“I am  _ not  _ your brother,” Loki corrects him again, a knife twisting on his sternum, and his own voice sounds ragged, torn up and strung out,  _ “I’m a Frost Giant, one of the monsters you have sworn to slaughter!” _

“Loki, I,” Thor pauses, looking at him with too pitying eyes, confused and grief-stricken– as if he’s lost a brother. Loki braces himself for both lies or rejection. “I don’t know what to say. Sorry is not enough and I–” it’s not what Loki had thought he would say and it throws him off for a second as Thor seems to gather himself, swallowing and nodding to himself, “I hope you know you’re still my brother, now and always. I don’t care– this changes nothing.”

_ Foolish, spoiled brat– “this changes everything!” _

“Not this,” Thor sounds more decisive than Loki’s heard him outside of battle, frowning, frowning, frowning, and still earnestly open, “not us.”

Loki should have lied, should never have come down here, should lie  _ now,  _ walk away from this, this–  _ charade.  _ “You’re a fool who knows not what you’re talking about.”

“Then tell me,” he pleads, “don’t shut me out now, brother. I know I have not been fair to you lately– I have had time here to think on my actions and I know you have little reason to trust me now but– Loki,  _ brother,  _ you came to me, now talk to me!"

Something is still cracking inside his chest and Loki doesn’t know what to think, how to untangle himself from the hurt and resentments, and he thinks this is how a thousand cuts kill you. 

Odin is asleep, Frigga is a liar, Thor is not who he was a few days ago, and Loki is the monster under the bed– what is there to talk about?

If he lets himself be coaxed back to Asgard, he can see it clearly:  _ Frigga telling him he’s allowed to be angry like he needs permission for the simmering rage boiling under his icy skin, Thor back on everyone’s good graces, eventually cajoling his way into his, himself either fading back into the shadows, desperate to keep his secret hidden, or driving himself to death trying to set himself apart from his blood. _

No, Loki sees it now with stark clarity what he has to do.

“Heimdall,” he says calmly, dropping the glamours hiding him from the Gatekeeper, “as King, I hereby lift Thor’s banishment.”

Thor blinks. “Loki–”

“There. I can't do anything for your hammer, but now you’re free to go home,” he continues, carefully steady. Then, he adds for the sake of the good days behind them, for the children they once were who once thought the world of each other, “thank you. If you truly love me, you won’t follow me.”

Maybe he should feel something beyond this cold apathy towards leaving all he knows behind, but maybe he wouldn’t be so dispassionate now if his world hadn’t already been turned upside down. It’s harder to care about life-changing facts the second time around.

As it is, Loki waves away the Midgardian restraints on his brother, watching him lunge across the table for him once realization sets in with the bitter knowledge that Thor and the others will move on from this soon enough, and slips away from the building.

Suddenly unmoored, he hesitates before leaving Midgard, for once in his life without anywhere to go, any place to stay, any plan to follow. Just there, just breathing. 

Reaching out with his seiðr in the tentative hope of something standing out, Loki breathes in sharply. 

Somewhere in Midgard, it calls him back. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hey, if you liked this, you can come talk to me about this disaster family or send me prompts at [my Tumblr](http://evelyn-hugc.tumblr.com)
> 
> also I might turn this into a multi-chapter? maybe? chime in if y'all would want that in the comments?
> 
> but hey? thanks.


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